As everyone knows, I've always loved birthdays and I've always liked to treat myself to something special each year. I mean, exactly this time last year I was sitting on the side of a volcano waiting for the sun to rise in Bali. Today I am nestled into my red couch, wrapped in a blanket, with a hot cup of coffee on the table in front of me. There is no trip on the agenda, unless we really do go to IKEA later...
Twenty-five was a funny year. I learned a lot of lessons..all of which were learned the hard way. The, seemingly, only way to learn a lesson. My life today is completely different than it was at the start of my twenty-fifth year. And what I am giving myself this year for my birthday is forgiveness, self-love, and a fucking hug. It will be difficult to look back on 25 fondly. Some days, I just wish I had stayed in Thailand...
-My mom always used to call this the 'What If' game. Her rule was simple...no 'what if's?' She tried to teach me that there is no sense in asking yourself such a painful question. The kind of question that can never be answered. But seriously, what if?-
I will say that I made a lot of wonderful friends in the last 365 days (it was a Leap Year, right?) Last night we went for Mexican food, in true Rae-fashion. I sat at the end of that huge table where I was able to see all of my beautiful friends under the glow of string lights and Saint candles. I was full of house margaritas and gratitude as I watched the salt fly from the rims of our glasses clinking togther throughout dinner. One spoon, for the tres leches cake, fed our 9 mouths, and we declared it to be lucky for each of us to have a bite of birthday cake.
..As if I could ever be more lucky than I felt just then.
Twenty-five was hard. But I hear that the 26th time's a charm. And I've got everything that I need to make it a wonderful year. Especially with wonderful friends to see me through it.