Temples.

This morning we set out to explore a few of Chiang Mai's Buddhist temples. The two temples that we visited are the two that are said to house the two relics of the Buddha. The first, Wat Suan Dok, was my favorite. With its perfectly white washed mausoleums housing the ashes of Chiang Mai's royal family and the breathtaking golden chedi, this temple stole my heart.

As Kadison and I wandered its grounds and throughout the ubosot, we felt dwarfed by the enormous statues of Buddha. We quietly admired the intricate details as monks meditated nearby and tip-toed back out into the garden to rejoin our group, humbled by Wat Suan Dok's beauty.

We cruised around the gorgeous Chiang Mai University campus before heading up the mountain to the second temple we were to visit, Wat Phra That Doi Suthep. This temple is the most famous temple in Chiang Mai named after the mountain on which it was built. According to legend, the second relic of Buddha was placed on the back of a white elephant and was released into the jungle. The elephant climbed Doi Suthep, stopped, trumpeted three times and then dropped dead. This was considered an omen and the temple was built at this site.

We climbed the 306 step staircase to the temple and waited for the rest of our group (who opted to take the cable car to the top.) This temple, though beautiful, was crawling with tourists. We saw a million different Buddha statues, had our fortunes told, and visited a jade factory and showroom before we headed back to the hostel for our usual lunch of Pad Thai and a cheeseburger and fries.

Thailand.

It is safe to say that our first day in Thailand will be remembered as our worst day in Thailand.

After 24 hours on a plane, a few stops in Moscow and Singapore, and only dinner rolls and roasted peanuts in our stomachs, we still had the daunting task of finding our way from Bangkok to Chiang Mai. Instead of a quick 2 hour flight, we took some bad advice and headed toward the train station. We both agreed it would be a nice change of pace, plus I had never ridden a train before. It was said to be scenic and quick.

Besides nearly losing my life to a taxi van the moment I stepped off of the curb, our taxi ride to the train station was the highlight of our day. The adorable taxi driver, Vanda, was giggly, jolly, and a sight for sore eyes. She popped in a CD that she clearly only played for her American passengers and got us to the train station in one piece.

We purchased our tickets for the "Rapid Express" train that would board a few hours later. I asked a gal working there how long the train ride would be and nearly shit myself when she said 15 to 16 hours. We tried to stay optimistic by telling ourselves that this was the worst case scenario and sat down to await the 13:45 train to Chiang Mai.

Hualamphong Station in Bangkok, Thailand

The people watching was PRIME at this train station so the two hour wait was nothing but a pleasant experience for me. Kadison watched a few episodes of Grey's Anatomy on her laptop and I stared at any and everyone who passed me by. A crawling man, a couple performing some sort of tantric love karate, and bob-tailed cats were just the tip of the iceberg...

We boarded the train 45 minutes early, struggled to lift our beyond-heavy bags into the overhead storage and slumped into our seats, exhausted. This was not the sort of train I had always imagined I'd ride through a foreign country.. this was the kind of train you take from one side of Disneyland to the other. But worse. The chairs were busted, their was no air conditioning, and the bathrooms...well, the bathrooms were holes that you had to squat over while you bounced down the tracks. We stayed pretty optimistic throughout the entire endeavor.. despite the heat, the bugs, and the f.i.f.t.e.e.n. hours we spent on that damn train. But! We did make it to Chiang Mai and we did save $90 in the process.

All aboard the shit train

We took a taxi to our hostel, threw our bags down, took the best showers of our lives and reminded ourselves that we were in Thailand for the next 16 days! And also that we it could only get better from here.

View from the rooftop of Hug Hostel in the center of Chiang Mai, Thailand

Leaving on a Jet Plane.

Only a few days stand between me and my next adventure. I've taken nearly an entire month off of work to turn off all of my alarms, scrap all of my daily routines, and clear my entire schedule. I'm headed towards Thailand with a suitcase full of books, empty journals, and yoga pants to absolutely indulge in a true blue v.a.c.a.t.i.o.n.

I've been working painfully long work weeks to make up for the days my PTO wouldn't cover while I disappear. Miraculously, the last few days there, I was unexpectedly cut loose early and able to enjoy a taste Austin's early Spring! It's already patio weather here and I was fortunate enough to spend a handful of days basking in it! Nothing feels better than skipping out into the sunlight after freezing your tail off in a cold, sterile surrounding. After my last shift, it took every bit of self control not to click my heels together and squeal, "I'm free!" right there in the hospital lobby.

That afternoon, I was laying on my bed, buzzed from a few unplanned margaritas, when I realized something. After considering the beautiful and supportive people in my life, the incredible things I've been fortunate enough to experience, and all of the love and happiness that I've been able to cultivate, I realized that I really am the luckiest girl I know. And I began to cry...

.... and laugh. I tucked my knees to my chest and gave myself a serious hug, rocking side to side, rolling around my bed in my own blissful delirium. I don't know if I've ever felt as happy as I did in that very moment. And ever since, I've been walking on clouds.

My pulse quickens every time I think about Thailand. We leave the day after tomorrow. Which, to me, sounds a lot sooner than "Tuesday."  We have nothing scheduled other than check-in time at our hostel. I'd like to promise that I'll share my experiences in posts to come, but there's just no telling.

I'm leaving with an open heart, and open mind, and an intense hunger for discovery. I'll check in soon, sweethearts.

I'm Exactly Where I Need To Be.

Something about 'now' seems right. I don't have everything that I'm working towards, but I have enough. I am not perfect, but I am enough. I can't make everyone happy, but I do enough.

Sure, I've repeated this mantra in seated meditation, during my yoga practice, or moments just before a complete emotional meltdown.. but it was today, whilst doing nothing, that clarity snuck up and kissed me on the forehead. I'd like to try to articulate what clarity feels like to me, but I don't think it's possible. It's like suddenly, nothing hurts anymore. Everything is immensely significant yet obviously impermanent. And I can just accept that.

I think having such a beautiful weekend that allowed me to have a lot of quality time with myself and my surroundings really paved the way to this revelation. It was a picture perfect weekend, by Rae standards. The weather demanded wool socks and rain boots, the Sunday morning jazz station tugged on heartstrings, and the honesty and insight that came pouring out of the souls I spend my weekends with filled me up. Countless times I stopped to think, "I am so lucky."

I spend each Saturday and Sunday sitting, laying, meditating, flowing, laughing, and sharing atop my yoga mat with seventeen other souls. We are completely honest and open and utterly supportive of one another. We've known each other for seven weeks and I love each and every one of them. They've allowed me to open my heart and my mind and let the world come spilling in.

I understand that people want to be good. I know that they can be trusted. It is clear to me that there is an endless amount of love to be felt. I just had to let it happen. I had to surrender.

So it was just a minute ago that I stripped myself of my weekday costume, stood at the window to admire October, and came to realize that everything is in its place. I am exactly where I need to be. Nothing before this and nothing that will come after this holds the same weight as right now. This is it.  This is everything.

It's Not the Destination, but the Journey.

This phrase keeps making an appearance in my life. Or maybe it has always been there but is just now starting to resonate with me. I have found myself at the beginning of a new and incredible journey. I am not worried about where I am going because I have my nose buried inside of the roses that are lining my path. 

The literature that I have been studying for my yoga teacher training has restructured my mind, the discussions with my classmates have opened my heart, and the work that I've put into my practice has strengthened me both physically and emotionally.

I'm peeling off the layers of domestication. I'm forgiving myself for the years of abuse that I not only inflicted on myself but also accepted from others. I am letting go of all the extra weight that I've been carrying around with me. And it feels so good.

Beneath it all is the raw and wild inner me. The very best version of myself. I can go back to this untamed, unmolded, untouched version of myself. We can all go back! We can go back with an advantage. This time, instead of innocent, we will be wise. 

If you haven't read The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, get your hands on a copy. And after you read it, tell me you're not already a few layers lighter.

I'm standing near the edge of something huge and I've decided to run towards it and dive into its vastness. 

Fun Runs.

A few years ago I placed first in my age group for the Whiskey Row 10K... my claim to fame. I had trained pretty seriously for months and my hips had taken a beating from running six miles several times a week. After opting out of an MRI and taking [lots of] time off from running, I turned to other sources for cardio. 

Ellipticals were my jam and I was pretty dedicated to my relationship with them for over two years. The only problem with the ellipticals were that they lived at the gym. The type of gym that stays open 24 hours a day and is filled with plastic women and meat-headed men. I hated said gym. I had to drag myself there. On more than one occasion I had driven there only to sit in my car and whine to myself until I would put the car in reverse and go back home. 

Finally, in June, I ended my contract with that soul-sucking place, taking a ridiculous hit from cancellation fees and membership fees and hidden fees galore. But it was worth it, I was free! So I signed up for unlimited yoga through my favorite neighborhood studio and have been going religiously ever since. Unfortunately, I had little to no cardio in my weekly routine before I decided it was time to start running again. 

Let me just say, I had never loved running. I enjoyed the challenge, the benefits, and the competitive side of it but I rarely looked forward to my runs. Until I turned them into Fun Runs. I started these runs with my roommate when we still lived in Arizona. We'd go to the local high school and race each other around the track or up the stairs. From there we'd run through the surrounding neighborhoods saying "sprint to that yellow mailbox" or "I'll race you to that stop sign." It was a blast. And we still have fun runs when our schedules allow. But when he's not available, I take myself out for a fun run. I realized that if I stopped mapping my distances or timing my miles, I actually enjoyed the run. 

Here's how I do it:

1. Beat the Heat - Texas has been a very hot 102 degrees or higher for the past few weeks. After a horrible experience running during the hottest part of the day, I've learned to beat the heat. Run early in the morning or well after the sun has gone down. The roads are usually quiet, the sprinklers are usually on, and the temperatures are usually perfect. 

2. Rainy Runs - Just before or just after a rain is one of my favorite times to get out there. If you're lucky enough to have an opportunity to run in the rain, do it. If you don't smile through most of it, then I can't help you. 

3. Music is Everything - Make a playlist, please! Nothing can ruin a run faster than a bad song sneaking up on you. AND if you have Spotify Premium, you have to try the Running tab. It syncs a techno beat to your pace and it's hilarious. I had a super energetic run to the Blissed Out beat. Try it! If anything,  you'll laugh.

4. Treat yourself - Make your run special. Some mornings I'll take myself down to Town Lake to run while the sun comes up. Or I'll take the extra scenic route around the neighborhood. And on every single run, I snag a sprig from the rosemary bushes that I pass. If you rub it back and forth in your palms, your hands smell amazing for your entire run. If you ever start to feel like shit on your run, cover your face and inhale deeply. I bet that you'll feel less like shit after that. 

5. Bring a Friend - Runs are always more fun with a friend. I recommend someone who has a similar stride or pace than you. Challenge each other, make a game out of it, and catch up with each other's latest. If you don't have any friends, make some at a run club. I win free merchandise and drink discounted beer after my run club runs!

6. Don't time yourself. Unless you like to. But I find it unnerving to hear that voice interrupt my music just to tell me how much better my mile was yesterday. Just go, and run, and don't think about how far or how fast you're going. Just enjoy the time you've set aside for yourself, enjoy the capability and strength of your body, and enjoy your run. 

Twenty Five, Lately.

Twenty five felt different than any other birthday. Maybe because I was staring up at the most perfect sky in Bali on the side of Mount Batur when I made the transition from "twenty four." Or maybe because I finally feel like I am present, like I'm exactly where I need to be and I'm doing exactly what I need to be doing. I want my life to be full of adventure, and passion, and contentment. And I'm at a place in my life where I can make all of that a reality.

I'm raking in the frequent flyer miles this year. Portland in a few weeks, New Zealand in a few months, and endless possibilities beyond that. Travel has become my biggest priority and I would spend every last dime that I've ever earned if it meant seeing the world.

I'm working too much. But it needs to be done. Not only to finance my travel expenses, but also to pay for my out-of-state tuition for my bachelor's degree. Putting myself through school has been pretty rewarding, considering I really had to push myself to enroll. I'm finishing up my second session with a 4.0 GPA. And damn, it feels good.

Another expense was my enrollment in a yoga teacher training program through my favorite studio. I start my 10 week training after I return from Portland. Needless to say, I'm going to be a busy girl this fall.

I feel as if a lot of doors are about to start opening for me. And I'm ready to take some chances. Because twenty five seems like the perfect time to do so.

Stay tuned, sweet peas.